


The Craziest Avenger

by teamcap4bucky



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 06:02:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16848520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teamcap4bucky/pseuds/teamcap4bucky
Summary: Y/N and Clint were the resident Prankers in the compound. What happens when they get challenged to a “prank off” by the rest of the team? Can they remain on top, or will a new winner take the thrown?This is a work in progress.





	1. Chapter 1

“You? You think you’re better…than me? Then us?” Clint scoffed, laughing at Sam, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Not think, know.” Sam was leaning back on his kitchen chair, arms crossed against his chest looking smug as hell.

“That’s a bold statement, Sammy.” You lifted your eyebrows his way, the glanced over at your partner in crime, Clint. 

“I’m a bold type of guy.” Sam responded, nodding his head.

You looked back at Sam, shocked that he was actually being so arrogant. “Sam, come on. This is…it’s what we do. If you go see Fury, and ask him for our files, it probably says “professional prankster” listed in under our skillset.”

“Look,” Sam sighed. “I just think that maybe it’s time for you two to retire. You’re stuff is old, like Clint, and it may be time to hang up your gloves, or quiver, and pass it off to the younger, and more skilled talent around here.”

“Oh hell…are you serious right now?” You were not having this shit. You shook your head Clint’s way, and turned back in disgust at Sam. “ You know what needs to happen now, right?”

“You two walk away with your heads down, and attempt to avoid me embarrassing you.” Sam chuckled.

“That’s it bird boy, we’re going to settle this like adults!” Clint was getting annoyed at how arrogant Sam was being, knowing he had nothing on Y/N and himself. 

“Okay, first, don’t call me bird boy, it’s not original, and basically you’re a bird too, so you just insulted yourself as well.” Sam rolled his eyes. “Second, if I wanted to have a conversation with a idiot, I’d go find Bucky. Now, you were saying?” 

“Sam, it’s pretty clear. We’re going to have to have a prank off.” You said. “That’s the only way to prove you wrong, and to show you we’re still top dog around here.”

“Oh, okay then. You think I won’t do it cause I’m scared? I ain’t scared, let’s do this.” Sam stood up, leading to you and Clint, rising from your chairs. 

“Okay, we’ll come up with the rules, and meet back here at dinner.” Clint crossed his arms, ready to battle.

“See you suckers then.” Sam spun around on his heels and headed for his room.

“That cocky mother…” 

“Whooooaaaa, easy Y/N. We got this. I’m not worried. You shouldn’t be either. Sam has no idea what’s coming to him.” Clint smiled and shook his head.

You both gave each other a quick fist bump, and got ready for the day.

By the time dinner came around, the kitchen was abuzz with excitement, and anxiety. Apparently, Sam had been running his mouth through out the day about the small war, and everybody wanted in. 

“Wait, are you guys betting on this?” You asked, although not shocked because let’s face it, you guys bet on anything and everything in this joint.

“Hell no! We want in! I, for one am tired of being the victim, and it’s time for some payback.” Steve pointed his finger back and forth between you and Clint.

They all started talking at once, agreeing that sometimes we went to far, and it was time they all had a chance to prove themselves. Everyone was amped up ready to roll, except one.

Sweet little Bucky Barnes. There he was, sitting at the table, just trying to mind his own business, and eat in peace. You could tell he didn’t want anything to do with this, and if he could sneak out without being noticed he would. Unfortunately for him, he was smack dab in the middle of everyone. You felt bad, really. He had only been here for about 8 months, and was still getting acclimated to this whole “saving the world” thing. He was thrust on to you all like a step kid thrown into a new family of wolves. Dysfunctional wolves at that. 

He was doing well in therapy though, and even better with small tasks around the base. Steve wasn’t really bringing him on a lot of missions yet, so he was often at the compound hanging out. This was good for him, because it forced him to get out and talk to people. You and Clint were the two he liked the best so far, besides Steve for obvious reasons. Your conversations were becoming more frequent every day, and he was even comfortable training with you two. You liked hanging out with Bucky. Weirdly, you liked a lot of the same things, so you were becoming fast friends. You may have harbored a slight crush on him too. You would never act on it though. He was not even close to that point of his life where emotions were even close to stable in his body. Which is one of the reasons why you and Clint, never, ever pranked him. You felt it was a recipe for disaster, and you would only set back his progress. It was an unspoken word between you and Clint that he was off limits for pranking. Until now.

“Okay, so let’s go over the rules.” You pulled over a bunch of giant dry erase boards, one listing all of the rules, while the others had all of your names written on it.

“First, each prank will have a starting value of 5 points. However, point values will be adjusted depending on the following factors. You pointed to the different boards placed in front of you. “If you prank the following people, you get an additional 2 points.” Sam, Tony, Vision, Wanda were all listed on the board labeled easy.

Sam immediately called bullshit. “Hold up, why am I on the easy board?” 

“Don’t get your wings in a bunch. We went by scare factor only, and let’s face it, you’re not scary. Wanda is super sweet, Vision doesn’t know how to prank, and Tony is… Tony.” You shrugged at Tony, and made a “sorry” face.

“I’m not happy.” Tony waved his finger at the board.

“I’m surprised by that. Okay, moving on, Clint, Natasha, and I will earn you 4 extra points. Put your hand down Sam! The last board will earn you 6 extra points.” It listed Steve and Bruce. “These two will be harder to get due to Steve’s super soldier abilities, and well, Hulk and all. Now, each individual will have his or her points tallied each day. I feel like most people will be working by themselves for this, because let’s face it, not one of us here can honestly say we are great with the secret keeping. I’m looking at you Nat! However, if you decide to team up with another person on a prank, you will each have 2 points added to your score. Yes Tony?”

“I have one rule to add.” Tony gave you and Clint and smug ass grin. You are arrow man can’t team up.”

“What! Who says?” You both reply in unison.

“Umm, all of us?” Steve replies.

“Is that a question, or…” You stood squinting your eyes at him, wondering why this rule was put in play.

“Umm, no, final answer, all of us. You guys are familiar with each other’s skills; you know the other is thinking. If you double up on us, there is no chance for anyone to walk away from this in a good standing position. You play against each other, it’s only fair.” Steve gave you the “Mother Hen” look, and you knew he was right.

Sighing, you looked at Clint. “Alright, we won’t pair up.”

“Well, now I’m not happy.” Clint threw himself back on the chair, crossing his arms like a child.

“Alright, so 2 points if you pair up, but 4 points taken if you get caught mid prank.”

“Daaamn, that’s a steep price.” Nat howled. 

“Hey, you all wanted to play dirty with the big kids, we didn’t start this shit.” You pointed back and forth to all of them.

Tony suddenly looked confused as he stared at the boards. “Hey, why isn’t Push Pop on there?”

You gave a disapproving look to Tony. “Can you not call him that?” Tony had decided it was only fitting to give Bucky an “ice themed” nickname since he had also been frozen ala “Steve Rogers” style. He said the cylinder type cryo tube that Bucky was “kept” in looked like the old push pops that he used to buy off the ice cream trucks when he was younger. He could be such a dick sometimes.

“Bucky, I didn’t put you on there, because I didn’t know if you would be up for that just yet. Although, to be honest, now I want to so you can nail metal mouth with something good. What are your thoughts?”

Bucky looked up shyly at you, then Steve. “No, I’m good for now. Maybe I can just watch for awhile, maybe join in later? I don’t want someone to jump out at me, and accidentally get busted up…or stabbed.”

“Can’t argue with that. Okay, so you let us know as we go along, we can add you in at anytime. Are these rules good? Do we all agree?” Everyone was nodding his or her head in agreement. “Okay, we start tomorrow. The “war” will last for 30 days. That should give people ample time to plan out, and execute their pranks. Alright guys huddle up, hands in the middle.” You look around at everyone’s faces, and can’t help the smug ass grin that spreads across your face. “May the prank gods be with you all. I wish you all the best of luck. Be safe, don’t be stupid, and I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this, but will anyway…Don’t get dead.”

As you watched all of your friends running to their rooms, you headed to the table, pulling out a seat next to Clint.

“You nervous?” Clint smiled your way. “We’ve never been against each other before, it’s always been you and me kid. I don’t like this. It doesn’t feel right.” He shook his head and sighed.

“I know, but they’re right, it wouldn’t be fair. Let them have their fun. We both know it’s going to be you and me at the top of that leader board in 30 days. This game is nothing, you know that.” 

Clint just shrugged and chuckled. “I know, you’re right, you’re right.” He lifted up his fist, and you bumped it back.

“I mean come on, you’re not nervous are you, Clint?” You gave him a gentle look waiting for his reply. 

He just smiled and shook his head. “No, I’m not scared.”

You stood up, and looked him dead on the eye, while your lips turned into the most devious, sinister smile. “You should be.” 

You headed out of the kitchen, not bothering to look back at Clint, jaw dropped, wide eyed, and panicked. All you could hear was a faint mumbling. “Oh, shit.”


	2. Chapter 2

Day One

It was 6 am, and one by one, people were heading in to the kitchen. There was a feeling in the air that you couldn’t place. It was a mixture of panic, anxiety, and nervous behavior. You could tell some of them had been up all night, planning their pranks, some of them not sleeping for fear of what might happen to them. 

You walked to the fridge to grab some juice, but Wanda was already in there grabbing her breakfast. “Hey Wan, can you…”

“Frick! You scared the life out of me!” She placed her hand to her chest, breathing heavily.

“I’m so sorry! I thought you heard me! Wait, were you gonna hit me? Why are you so jumpy?” You questioned, placing a hand on her shoulder to calm her.

“It’s this stupid contest! I was up half the night explaining it to Vis. I came up with some good pranks, but I think I scared myself thinking of what was going to happen to me.” She had managed to get herself under control and she placed the eggs on the stove.

“I was thinking that too. This probably wasn’t the best idea. We’re all pretty paranoid as it is, and this is definitely not going to help that situation. We did not think this thing through.” You started spreading butter on your toast, but stopped when you heard someone behind you coughing and spitting out their food.

Wanda went over and started patting Sam on his back. “Are you okay, Sam? Wrong pipe?” 

“Someone replaced the whip cream with shaving cream! I just ate Gillette flavored pancakes!” Sam continued scraping his tongue with his napkin. As he walked over to the sink, he placed his head under the faucet to rinse his tongue. You had started to laugh when you noticed Wanda with her head down, smirking at her eggs.

“You tricky little witch.” You whispered as you sat in front of her, grinning. She just winked, and dug in for another forkful.

“It’s not even 7 am, and this is how’s it gonna be?” Sam mumbled as he was spitting in between sentences.

“This was your idea. It’s only fitting that you would be the first to take a hit!” You giggled behind your cup of tea. 

Wanda finished her eggs, and calmly walked towards the board in the living room. She put her name, the number two, and Sam’s name with a note, (shaving cream pancakes.) Sam watched, slack jawed, gasping as she went and sat back down at the table.

“It’s always the innocent ones, huh Sammy boy?” You took another sip of tea. Sam just glared at the two of you.

“Wanda! We are on the same board!” Sam yelled in disgust, slamming his fist down on the counter in between each word. 

“I’m sorry! Better I get you before you get me!” When Sam turned his back, she shook her head and mouthed to you, “I’m not sorry,” making you almost choke on your tea. This was going to be an amazing month.

Three hours later, Bucky, you, and Steve were in the common room watching movies. You were 2 movies into a Die Hard marathon, when Tony came in all flustered, and ranting to himself. You all watched him as he yanked a cabinet open, grabbed a drink, and threw back a few pills. 

“Tony? You alright?” You questioned.

“No, I’m not…” He stopped to rub his hand down his face while he sighed. “I’m not alright. I feel like a grenade was launched into my brain, leaving me with an ‘oh so pleasant’ mind numbing pain in my skull. Would you like to know why, Y/N?”

“No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me anyway.” You honestly had no idea what was happening, but almost lost it when he decided to finally vent. 

“I have been stuck, on the freeway for two hours, in stand still traffic, in downtown rush hour.” Before you could reply, he had already begun to rant again. “Why do I have a headache you ask? Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it was because I had to listen to the masses around me, honking their horns around my car for two…TWO hours straight.” 

“I don’t get it. Why were they all honking their horns?” You questioned, feeling like you were missing something.

“Oh, you don’t know? I’ll tell you why, Y/N. They were honking for their favorite avenger.” You looked at him, completely confused, until he held up a small rectangular bumper sticker in your face that read, “Honk twice if you love Captain America!”

As you turned around, you barely caught the end of Steve’s figure ducking behind the corner, but could hear shoes running, and a faint sound of giggling.

“He did this. He did this, and he is going to pay.” Tony stated as he tried to hold back his annoyance.

“Good luck!” you yelled back at him, as you lightly tucked your head in the pillows near Bucky. 

“This is not going to end well, for anyone.” Bucky just smirked while watching the credits roll. All you could was laugh in to the pillow.

As the afternoon went on, you had noticed that everyone’s paranoia had increased from “slightly scared,” to “anything in the room is potentially a weapon.” People were cautious when they opened cabinets and drawers. They would open a door to a hallway, peek behind it, then slowly walk through, examining every corner of every wall. Twice you had walked in on Steve and Tony looking under the doorframe before entering their rooms, which is where you found yourself now.

“Hey Steve.” You whispered, as you flattened yourself next to him on the floor, carefully as to not spook whoever may be in his room. He held his finger to his lips, not looking to you. 

“Hey, what’s up?” Steve was still looking under the frame scanning his room for intruders.

“Is someone in there?” You placed your head to the floor and scanned the room with him.

“I’m not sure. I haven’t seen or heard anyone yet.” Still whispering, he glanced over at you.

“Then why are you still down here?” You smiled while tilting your head to get a better view.

“Honestly, I don’t know…” He looked over to you, and you both start giggling as quiet as you could. “I thought, if I just sat here for a few minutes, eventually they might give in, and come out.”

“How long have you been here?” 

“Twenty five minutes.” You couldn’t be quiet anymore. You erupted into such laughter, that before you knew it, you were on your back, crying. Steve had joined you, his belly on the floor, bouncing him up and down as he chuckled with you, realizing how ridiculous he was being. “Honestly, I just want to shower in the worst way, but I can’t bring myself to go in!” 

“Mr. Rogers, Miss Y/L/N, are you in some kind of distress? Shall I get Mr. Banner for you?” All of the noise that the two of you had made had alerted Vision to your location.

“No, Vis, we’re okay, just releasing some much needed tension. Thanks for checking on us. Steve, I think it’s time. I think it’s safe. Steve took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and pushed his door open. Nothing. Nothing happened. He let out breath, while throwing his head back. “Thank you.” He whispered in the direction of the ceiling. He gave you a quick nod before shutting the door. You jumped, then tucked yourself low into the wall when you heard a blood curdling scream from behind the door. You fling the door open to see Steve, in a fetal position, on the floor. 

“Steve, what the…”

“DON’T SHUT THE DOOR!!!” He screams as he jumps up to grab the door from your hands.

“Why! What’s with the door?” You put your hand on the door, and slowly started to peek behind it. Unaware of who had placed it, you gaze upon a life sized zombie with a camera for an eye, hanging from the back of his door “Holy shit, that thing is terrifying!” You start removing it from the door with Steve, while pondering to yourself. Who did this? Who just made “big man on campus” Steve Rogers scream like a little girl. “Hey Steve, there’s a note. It says, “Push Me.” You pushed the button, to hear Friday’s voice come alive from above. 

“Good afternoon Mr. Rogers. Mr. Stark has asked me to inform you that the image of you on the floor is now everyone’s new screensaver. His ringtone is now being replaced with the sound of you screaming. Is there a message that you would like me to deliver back to him, sir?”

“Yeah, tell him, Rogers said to watch his six.”

Dinner had had rolled around by 8, and to say that everyone was tired, was an understatement. It was only day one, day ONE, and already this place was a shit show. Wanda had cooked dinner for everyone, and Vision had started to pass out the plates. Everyone started to settle around the table, grabbing food from each platter, filling drinks, and passing big spoons back and forth to each other. 

Clint jumped back as everyone had started to cough, and spit food out into their napkins, or on to their plates under the table.

“What’s wrong with all of you? You guys love this meal, I make it all the time!” Wanda looked around, uneasy watching everyone spitting, wiping, or downing their drinks to wash out their mouths.

“Are you trying something new tonight?” Bruce questioned while fixing his glasses.

“No, it’s the same…” Wanda took a bite, and ran to the garbage can.

Clint started to count heads at the table. “Where’s Sam?”

Sam casually came out from behind the corner with a bag of fresh take-out from his favorite restaurant, grinning ear to ear at all of you.

“Sam, what did you do?” Wanda stood up from the garbage can looking a bit disheveled.

“Let me start by saying, I’m insulted that it took you all this long to notice that I wasn’t even at the table. With that being said, now I don’t feel bad for what just transpired here. Wanda, I switched all the labels on your spices. Serves you right after what you did this morning.”

Bucky and Steve threw down their forks. If there was one thing you didn’t mess with, it was those boys and their nutrition. They were dicks when they were hungry, and I’m not talking, “toss me a Snickers bar,” type dicks kind of hungry. I’m talking, I’d rather be put in a broom closet with Hulk at his angriest big mood, then deal with those assholes type hungry.

“Enjoy your dinner, good night.” Sam said while strolling back around the corner. “NO ONE MESSES WITH THE FALCON”S FOOD!” 

You took a good look around at everyone before taking a deep breath. “Friday, can you order up a bunch of pizzas for everyone? Rush delivery please?”

“Yes, Miss Y/L/N, right away.”

“Okay guys, new rules. Food has to be a safe. It’s the first day, and we’re all tired, cranky, and hungry. Sleep is safe too. Everyone needs to get some rest. I can deal with the hunger thing once in a while, but shit is going to get real bad, real fast if no one is shutting down at night. Can we all agree to that? I think it’s for the best…for everyone.”

Everyone nodded his or her head in agreement. “Okay, let’s just chill until the pizza gets here. I’ll inform Fuckwing of the new rules in the morning.”

Clint pulled you aside a few minutes later. “How ya holding up kid?”  
“I’m fine, you?”

“Great. I have some good stuff planned this week.”

“Me too. Clint, they’re dying already, and these jokes are grade school type shit. We haven’t even started yet!”

“I know!” You both started laughing. “It’s awesome!” Your laughter began to fade as you both looked at each other, knowing what was coming. “You know, this is going to happen soon.” He pointed between the two of you. “Try not to kill me, okay.”

“I’ll be gentle.” You said, but then started to shake your hand a little. “Ehhh, a little bit gentle. I have to make it look real, you know?” You smirked a little. “Truce tonight, but tomorrow is fair game, okay?”

“Deal. Be careful out there tomorrow kid.” He winked before putting his fist out to you.

“You too old man.” Bumping his fist, you took you exit, heading off to your room. You got there and froze before you turned the knob. You shook your head, and sighed, finding yourself dropping to the floor. “Damn them.”

Day 1 Leader Board

Tony-11   
Sam- 7   
Wanda- 7  
Steve- 7


	3. Chapter 3

Day 3

“NO! Do not put that on me!” Clint was thrashing as hard as he could, trying to free himself from the red energy that had him locked into his chair.

“Stop moving, it’s going to smear, Sam.” You smirk as you brush the light shade of pink blush over his cheekbones. “This is going to really compliment the shade of lipstick that Nat picked out for you.”

“Come on girls, this is just mean, we have a meeting later with Steve and Fury!” Sam continued to try and run, but it was of no use. Once Wanda had her mind set on something, there was no breaking her.

“Later you say?” Nat glances at you and Wanda, a devious smirk on her lips.

“Wanda, we better make this extended stay mascara. I don’t want them going in to an important meeting looking like raccoons. We need something that will stay put.” Digging through her bag, discovering the needed item, you proudly hold it high for them to see.

“Y/N, please…” Clint begs for mercy.

“No no no. Our boys are not going to a meeting looking like they spent the night out drinking. You need to look fresh faced for them. Nat, bronzer, please.”

Nat continues to dig through Wanda’s make-up, making you all jump when you hear an excited shriek from her next to you.

“Wanda! Is this…?” She holds up three small containers of shimmering powder.

“Nat…” Clint and Sam start to wiggle against their chairs.

“Clint…” She says walking towards him, her eyes wide as if she had found a hidden present on Christmas morning.

“Not glitter. Anything but glitter.” Sam begs trying to drop his face so that neither of the girls could get to it.

“You said it yourself, this is a late meeting, you need to step it up, add a little pizazz, boys.” They watched in horror as Nat dipped the brush into the bright green and gold glitter.

“Aghh, there are my girls!” Startled a little by the sudden booming new voice, in the room, the three of you smile wide as you all set your eyes upon Thor. “What is this we are doing? Is there a celebration of some sorts? A costume party perhaps?” 

You stop to hug him, welcoming him back, and continue to tell him of the situation at hand. He laughs jovially at his friends, and can’t wait to hear of all the pranks that have been played, and possibly be involved in the ones yet to happen.

“Well, that’s great to hear, as I may need your help later on.”

“Of course Lady Y/N, whatever I can do.” He stands mighty, crossing his arms, amused by the sight before him.

“I’ll tell you what you can do, pull up a chair, and pucker up buttercup.” Nat kicks a chair to him, and Wanda surrounds him with mist.

“Ladies…” It was a rare that Thor would ever use a threatening voice in front of you. On the battlefield, of course, but with you girls, not ever. He loved you three like you were family. You three made him laugh, and he cherished the moments spent with you. Except for right now.

“I think a French braid would be nice, don’t you Y/N?” Nat begins to run a brush through Thor’s hair, and starts to separate it with her fingers.

“Oh no…. I signed on for these two birdbrains, not for him. I may need him later, I’m not burning that bridge.” Giving him a light pat on his back, mouthing that you’re sorry, you head back to Clint. “You’re just about done, my friend. You look good in that eye shadow. It brings out the color in your eyes.”

“I hate you, Y/N.” Glaring at him, you mock offense before answering.

“Yeah, well I hate you too. I have been trying to pull of that color for years, and was never able to. It’s unfair that you look better in make-up then I do.”

 

“THOORRRR!” Nat’s voice could be heard through out the floor, getting closer and louder with each second.

“What did you do?” You mouth drops, eyes full of concern, when see Thor’s eyes widen. He quickly gets up from his chair next to you, dropping his fork onto his plate.

“I was never here Y/N.” Giving you a wink, he runs off towards the stairway, heading off to who knows where.

“Where is he?” Nat demands as she heads in to the kitchen.

“Who?” Nervous that she would be able to tell that you were lying, you shove another bite of your lunch into your mouth, hoping the chewing would cover your smile.

“Do you know what he did?” Swallowing roughly, you force down your bite of chicken, and ask.

“I don’t even know who ‘he’ is…” This was going well for you so far.

Grabbing your elbow, you are suddenly forced out of your seat, and dragged down the hallway to her room. Having a look around, nothing seems out of place, nor tampered with, so the confusion in your face grows.

“I have a date tonight.” Before crossing her arms, she waves her hand, motioning for you to enter her bathroom.

“Ooookaay…” Upon entering the door, you can’t help but cover your mouth when you see it. Its presence known, making no noise, no motion…just being.

“I can’t get to my make-up, or anything else in there.” Nat takes a deep sigh. There was nothing she could do. It would sit there, taunting her until he arrived.

“Well, I certainly can’t move it.” Shrugging your shoulders, as if asking her what she thought you could do about it.

“Have you ever tried?” She asks you, as if she didn’t already know the answer.

“No, but come on, I’m…me.” You wave your arms over your body as if to say, are you kidding me, I’m the worst.

“Well, try it! I have to get ready!” She yells, not necessarily at you, just in general.

“Nat…” Tilting your head, you frown at her, and she knows you’re right

“I know you’re friends. Call him, text him, send a raven, a pigeon, whatever the fuck you do to get in contact with him. I want it off by seven thirty. Got it?”

“Don’t get shitty with me, you asked for this.” Pointing in her direction, you flick your brows at her. She sighs, rubbing her forehead.

“Y/N, just…please.”

You leave her, frustrated, while mumbling to yourself on the way out. “You mess with the gods, you’re gonna get Loki’s horns.”

You head back to the kitchen, making sure no one was around.

Bzzzz  
Y: She’s pretty mad.  
T: On a scale of 1 to my brother stabbing me…  
Y: 8…ish  
T: This coloring on my lips will not fade. What do I do?  
Y: Tell everyone you met a nice lady. I’ll help you get it off. But really, Thor. Mjolnir?  
T: I look like a paid mistress of Asgard. Did you remove it?  
Y: …..  
T: Well then, let us drink later to our success. We shall never speak of this again.  
Y: Lesson learned for all.

You could not delete that message fast enough. In the end it didn’t matter, as you turned to see a certain sneaky soldier shaking his head, watching you from the couch.

“Not a word, Bucky…”

 

Day 5

“Why do you keep licking your teeth so much?” Tony inquires of Bruce as he studies the machinery in front of them.

“What?” He looks up at Tony, confused by the question. 

“Your teeth. You keep licking your teeth. You have been doing it for days now. You stressed? Something on your mind big guy?” Tony grabs a cloth and begins to wipe down the new piece of armor that they had been working on together. “Spill it.”

“No, it’s nothing, I don’t know. I didn’t even know I was doing it.” He takes a swig from his water bottle, running his tongue over his teeth. “I think I bought the wrong toothpaste.”

“Impossible. Friday orders the same supplies monthly. Weird taste? Wrong texture? What?” Tony already knows where this is going, but Bruce was a little slow on the uptake sometimes.

“I don’t know, less minty? Thinner? I don’t know, it’s probably nothing.” Sliding back on his glasses, he grabs a screwdriver and begins to fasten pieces of new metal on a robotic arm.

“Or, it could be something…” Tony raises his eyebrows at Bruce, hoping that he would catch on to what he was insinuating.

“Nooo, you think?” He thinks back to when this all started happening. “I noticed it like two days ago. It tasted different. Creamier? And my teeth feel filmy afterwards.”

“Interesting. Go get it.” Tony starts grabbing beakers, liquids of unknown varieties, pipettes of different sizes, and turns on the microscope and burner. Ten minutes later, Bruce emerges.

“Here.” Bruce says shoving it into Tony’s hands, now getting excited for the fact that he may not be going mad.

Tony begins to squeeze the tube gently, taking small samples of the questionable substance. Three samples in, he decides to man up, and just taste a small amount. Bruce watches as Tony lifts his brows, twisting his tongue around in his mouth, gathering any kind of evidence that the soft material could provide. He turns off the microscope next to him, and shuts down the burner.

“What? You have something?” He rubs his hands together, ready for Tony’s answer.

“It seems what we have here is your garden variety cream cheese, Bruce.” He smiles, watching Bruce’s face fall.

“Cream cheese?” He puts a little of it on his finger and smooshes it around.

“Who has access to you room?” Tony inquires.

“No one really. Wait! Nat sometimes brings me my stuff on delivery day!” He hollers, holding up a finger in the air.

“There you have it.” Tony grins with a shit-eating smirk on his face.

“I thought we were friends too.”

“Brucie, no one is a friend this month.”

 

Day 6

You had slept great last night, which was something that was uncommon for you. Everyone seemed a little bit less cranky these days, being that they knew that they could sleep safely, and that no one could bother them. Which lead you to the happy go lucky state that you were in now. It was a sunny day out, the weather was perfect, and you were going to take advantage of it. You had finished breakfast early, and knew the boys would be back from their run soon. There were three plates of pancakes, bacon, and eggs ready for them to eat when they got back. They always came back starving after their morning workouts, just like you.

“It smells delicious in here!” You hear Sam call out from the elevator.

“Morning, boys.” You smile, putting the last touches on each of their plates, motioning with your head to go sit at the table.

“Is this all for us?” Steve asks, looking over the buffet of food that had been prepared.

“That it is.”

Steve rubs his hand over your back for a minute, pecking you on the side of the head. “Thank’s Y/N/N. It looks amazing. We’re so hungry!”

“You always are!” You say, laughing to yourself. “There’s some fresh cut fruit in the fridge for Bucky. Will you grab it for me?”

Bucky looks up at you and nodes his thanks. Winking back at him, you ask the three of them who wants whip cream, or just butter and syrup.

“Both!” they all respond. You all chuckle, as you start to decorate their plates. Sam loved fruit and whip cream on his cakes, Steve, extra fruit, and sometimes liked it pureed, and Bucky liked whiped cream, but his fruit on the side. 

You giggle to yourself as you add on the finishing touches, asking Sam to get them silverware, as Steve gets up to grab drinks.

“Any plans today, Y/N/N?” Sam asks watching you bring the plates to him.

“I’m going to go for a run, shopping and lunch with the girls, and then bbq by the pool later. Maybe throw a few beers in there.”

“Why don’t you run with us?” Steve leans back and asks feeling bad that he didn’t include you today.

“You’re cute.” You say bopping his nose with a whip cream dollop. “For one, I’m not a super soldier, I can’t run half the city on one breath, and for two, I would hold you guys up.” Placing the plate in front of him, he chuckles as he sees the red white and blue shield that you have created with Blueberries, Strawberries and cream.

“Sam runs with us every day.” Bucky responds, before you place his plate in front of him. He smiles down at his, and thanks you when you hand him a bowl of cut up fruit. “Thanks. It looks good.” He says slightly blushing at his decorations.

“Yeah, and you make fun of him for slowing you down everytime, do you not?” You raise your brows at the boys, who barely lift their lips on the sides, but you know they are both smirking as they look down at their pancakes. “Uh, huh…”

“Yes, they do.” He adds in, as he accepts the plate of food from you, dancing a little as he looks upon the giant whip cream smiley face that you have made with banana eyes and a blueberry mouth. “Wait a minute…”

“What’s wrong?” He points to Bucky’s plate and then back to his, a slight tinge of jealousy coming from his mouth.

“Why do Steve and I get an emoji and a symbol, but Bucky Boy gets hearts, hugs and kisses? He’s got like four x’s and o’s.”

“You get a smiley face because when I see you, you make me smile. Steve gets his shield, for what I feel like is an obvious reason, and Bucky had a rough night. I thought he could use a little extra love today. Okay?” He nods at you, accepting your answer. “Good, now shut up and eat your pancakes. I’m leaving.” You rub his head, before grabbing it and pulling into your lips for a quick peck. You head to Steve next, who leans his head into your lips, and you repeat the action. “Don’t let this one cause havoc while I’m gone today, okay?” You nod over Sam’s way, and he looks at you with disgust.  
“Excuse you, I’m an Angel.” He points his fork at you both, before waving it back and forth between the two soldiers. “It’s these two you need to watch out for.”

“I actually believe that.” You say making your way around Steve.

“Hey!” Steve says. “I’m just as innocent.” He looks at Bucky shocked, when he hears his best friend scoff towards the table.

“Maybe someone needs to watch all three of you.” Rolling your eyes, you step to Bucky, placing your hand in his hair, and placing your lips just in his hair, above his temple.

Everyone freezes.

Oh my god, what are you doing? Are you kissing him? Are you…touching him right now? He doesn’t like to be touched, holy shit, what do I do? Move! Let go of him, for the love of hell, do something….

Bucky straightens up beneath you, taking a deep breath. Your eyes widen in horror and panic

“Y/N?” Steve asks quietly.

“Mmmmhmmmm.” You say, not being able to move, lips placed firmly on Buck’s head.

“What are you...doing?” Sam watches both you and Bucky, not moving, not breathing, as if you were in a competition with each other for who could stay still the longest.

“Mmmiii doonn noo.” You say muffled against his head. “Mmmiii jus kee ooing oown the line, I nidinn think.”

“Are you okay?” Sam had started to chuckle at the situation, and Steve had to admit, seeing you to stuck together was a bit humorous.

“Mmmmmm!” What had started out as a yes had ended up turning into a small whimpering squeak for help.

“I got…here, let me help you.” Steve scoots his chair back and grabs your hand, releasing it from Buck’s head, before pulling you shoulders back. “Good?”

Sam and Steve watch as Bucky looks up at you, and you just stare off at the table.

It’s not until you hear his soft voice that you break out of our head.

“Y/N?”

You let out the breath that you didn’t realize you were holding, just unloading apologies onto him.

“Bucky, holy shit, I am so sorry, I don’t know why I did that, I mean I do, but I don’t ever do that, and I’m sorry, I just kept going, and I didn’t stop to think, are you okay, I swear I’ll never do it again, I’m so sorry, oh my god, did I just break you, is this going to set you back? I’m gonna go, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He listens and leans back a bit, trying to process all the words spewing from your mouth. This only makes you feel worse, because all you see is him trying to get away from you which makes you start to tear up, covering your mouth.

Seeing this, he jumps up, and holds you face, attempting to get you to calm down.

“Hey... hey, stop, it’s fine, I’m fine, I swear. Look, no damage done. Okay? It’s okay.” You nod your head at him, and take a deep breath.

“I’m sorry.” He flashes you a smile, the one that makes your knees weak. The one that makes you not sorry you did it. The one that makes you wish you would have screwed up a little more, kissing his lips instead, and then just playing dumb about it afterwards.

“Take a deep breath and relax.” He waits for you to breath a few times before letting go of your face. “You good? Do I need to worry about you passing out on your run, or having a panic attack out there by yourself?” Tilting his head down, looking deep into your eyes, he waits for your answer. He honestly feels bad that you had this much of a reaction to touching him.

“No, I’m good, I’m okay.” You smile back at him, and melt into his eyes, forgetting for a moment that you two weren’t the only two in the room. 

Sam taps Steve in the shoulder, gaining his attention, both of them watching the two of you interacting with each other. Bucky had placed his hand on your upper arm, making sure you were really okay, trying to provide you with the best comfort that he could. Steve took notice, staring at his hand, holding onto you, shocked that he hadn’t yet backed away from you, but mostly due to how gentle his touch was with you.

“I’m going to go run now.” You thumb towards the door, and smile awkwardly at Bucky. “It won’t happen again.”

You turn to run out the door, but he grabs you back, pulling you to him. He awkwardly leans into you, looking up at the ceiling to avoid eye contact with you. He drops the quickest of kisses against your head and you get goosebumps, unable to fight the smile slowly starting to rise on your cheeks, the heat consuming your face.

“Now we’re even, okay?” You let out a small happy huff, before nodding your head, looking at the floor, being responding.

“Okay.” You turn and run out the door, heading for the stairs, the smile on your mouth finally ripping it’s way to the surface.

Bucky strolls back the table, and sits, not bothering to look at either of his friends, just excited to get back to his meal.

“Umm, I think I speak for everyone here when I say...what the…?” Sam says, looking at Steve.

“Buck?” Steve bends his head down to try and catch Bucky’s eyes, hoping for an explanation.

“What?” Bucky says with a mouthful of food.

Sam backs his chair up and heads for the tally board. He goes to Steve and Bruce’s board, adding another line from top to bottom. Steve watches as he adds Bucky’s name to the board. Y/N (eleven.) He steps to the side, and begins to write under Y/N’s name, Bucky, (nine.) With no explanation of what was done.

“That’s doesn’t count.” Bucky rolls his eyes at Sam, Steve quickly cutting him off with his hand.

“Y/N not only touched you, but she actually, physically put her lips on you, and for longer than a minute.” Steve states.

“It was out of fear that it was that long.” Bucky shakes his head trying to reason with them.

“You…Bucky… you kissed her.” Sam rounds the table, sitting back in his chair. “This is about the biggest pranks, and who is the craziest. You both just did something that is unheard of. Agreed?” Sam looks for confirmation from Steve.

“Oh, agreed. It stays.” Steve waves his hand at Bucky, telling him not to bother challenging.

A few minutes pass, and Sam bids the two goodbye, heading for his showers.

No words have been said, but Bucky can feel Steve’s eyes burning a hole through his head, and knows Steve is just dying to voice his thoughts. Dropping the fork, Bucky leans back and stares at Steve.

“Don’t” He pushed back his chair, and heads towards his room to change.

“Aww, come on, I didn’t even say anything! Come back!”

 

Day 6 Leader Board

Y/N- 22  
Nat-18  
Wanda-12  
Tony-11  
Bucky-9  
Thor-9  
Sam- 7  
Steve- 7


End file.
